Thursday, March 12, 2020

who is sketchek?

Who was sketchek?

There was a TF2 YouTuber pyro main named sketchek who uploaded primarily combo-pyro frag videos on YouTube. I was inspired by, then wasn't, moved on. Some people got confused and had rather believed I was him, instead of someone else doing something similar.

Who was sketchek to you?

Before apology (< 2019-02-07)

First discovered sketchek through YouTuber Muselk's video "SEWER SURFING! The Cursed Tunnels Of 2Fort" (originally uploaded 2016-04-11). Frag movies with unconventional kills with retro videogame music? Was nice.

Eventually he watched sketchek's entire channel many times over. At that point, the last upload was 2015-09-15 – the channel had been inactive for a while. Dug deeper and watched sketchek's deleted/unlisted videos. In the hidden video "psa" (uploaded sometime at or before in 2015), learnt that sketchek may have a terminal illness. Since Bing Soy knew how much people like to lie or take advantage of others or be cruel, there was doubt, but he tried to take it at surface value.

Bing Soy liked his videos and trying crazy things with pyro more and wanted to made videos like him, like a tribute to him and those who watched his videos. He appreciate the simpler editing, not too flashy compared to a more typical frag video with loud electronic music with too much editing. Was nice videos to watch and distract from hard times like how I played videogames to help with the bad times.

Practiced a lot in tr_walkway and nocrit Hightower deathmatch servers (Valve casual has crits, no). Life experiences helped push me further towards risking dumb deaths for glorious frags, what's the point if you play safe all the time?

After apology (2019-02-07 – present)

Several years of silence, invited speculation. The date is now 2019-02-07.
An apology video came out., titled "謝罪", meaning "apology" in Japanese. But why obfuscate the title for a majority English-speaking audience for seemly a serious subject? Why disable the comments to every video in your channel? Why add thematic background music?

This video follows up on his hidden video where claimed having terminal illness, (implying possible death).

"You might say I was "mentally ill", because I thought it would be fun to convince a lot of people that care about me that I would fuckin' die..."
Is having "mental illness" supposed to lessen this? Intentional ignorance of using that as an excuse or little understanding or experience with mental health? It's hard to tell, better to leave than to speculate false things and make videos on it.

The last 5 seconds sums up the apology:

"Thanks for listening, and I look forward to seeing a bunch of e-celebs virtue signal over this."

Now why would he say that? Would he really be surprised people are going to call faking a terminal illness to quit youtube bad? Maybe an attempt to polarize his image as some sort of smokescreen to move elsewhere.

I wasn't as shocked or surprised as I could have been when he released that video. How the apology went would matter more than the act. Only then, the disappointment flooded in.

Had enough of this emotional toying. It's not good to be exposed to things like this too much or worry about things too much outside of your family. It will make you more bitter and distrustful.

From that point forward, I stopped watching his videos and now see all creators with more suspicion. This will likely happen again, not that it should. All this left a bad taste and I can no longer enjoy his videos as I once had. Fine if you enjoy his videos.

Empty tribute

Ticked off, my plan to tribute his videos took a dark turn, but was expedited. It would be for the community and for me. I have been preparing for it, even before the "apology".

Relatively close after the "apology", I kicked into high gear making similarly themed videos to his starting videos, I refuse to let my plans die, was one of the good things I was looking to.

Bit of a "theme" for me imitating things, I enjoy characters like Kirby and Rubick from DotA. I knew people were going to eventually draw a parallel, but I imagined a more "sweet" version instead of me never wanting to be mistaken for him.

Tribute to better days, become more, elmaxo video?

Over time, I got better at TF2 (arguable) and editing, iterating and making my own "voice" through video. Now, especially after audience boost from elmaxo's video, I attempt to make it on YouTube with the help of generous donators to support my channel. Elmaxo video interesting case, mixed feelings on it, but at least in end not so bad, though some principles clashed with it regarding the ethics. Confusing, sweet, conflicting, feeling more exposed; less invisible (good or bad).

Was comparatively more closed at the time, less faith in talking to people, but I wanted to so I attempted to do so without words as they failed me or I failed them. The "ARG" bit I of course didn't like, none of my intent. Internet may not always be to your liking, even if your last resort for connection but you can block and not engage with certain people who give you trouble. Likely becomes more complicated if more public figure.

The "mix-up"

There was a short time where some people had the theory that I was him or linked to that "ARG" he made.

I can get behind "ARG"s more on a less harmful/fun side like Inscryption where I felt a slight connection with the lonely wizard character, which may not of helped my case with the "ARG" stuff which came after that elmaxo video but I don't regret having intent to make a connection. Don't want reclusive/less "normal" people to be used for "ARG" fuel/bait. I don't consent to this.

It even grew to a point where a TF2 youtuber Htwo made a video on this. Easy clicks? Genuine theory? Misunderstanding? In the end resolved-ish. Don't know what right I have if I want the video removed for false information but I'm not anti-journalist like sketchek. I only requested that "theory" would be appended to the title. Let it be a reminder for something, mistakes or how "clues" can mislead.

It was all just some dumb gossip/bait. Fortunately I didn't feed too much into it and focused my energy more on improving my life, making videos for people to enjoy and my ongoing quest for increasing my knowledge of the world.

Why would people mistake you for him?

Why

  • Combo Pyro gameplay
  • Similar editing (initial videos, that was the point)
  • Similar titling and video descriptions (initial videos, later broke the style later on by including blog BTS/extended credit links, further distance with more comprehensive info)

What they should've looked at

  • These blogs
  • My history/presence across my other channels/social media
  • the editing changing over time because i wanted to show my own style
  • Only playing on a no-crit hightower server (initial videos)
  • Possible reputation impact/damage on me
  • Sensationalist culture, not doing basic research
  • The fact that people get inspired by others
  • Different personalities and philosophies (people can be different and other people can exist)
  • Legal team disparity, corporate/financial ties, possible legally binding contracts that condemn certain behaviors, especially criticism of brands or talking about politics, being too non-offensive/diluted
  • Consistency
  • Empathy or sympathy for my position (faceless internet makes this harder)

Closing

What happens now? Nothing else will happen, seems like one of those things people go "hm." then go about their day. Brings about philosophical arguments of morality and how people test what they can do and get away with. As always, people make mistakes and then they go on with their lives. Still, I was somehow affected and now it's added to my life experiences to adapt to, for better or worse. Something as seemingly insignificant as appreciating another's work, taken away. Life lesson? Probably the rock in shoe one. Best for me to have real accountability or real action if I do mistake instead of this. It's not good to enable this behavior - burning your identity, causing mass grief, emotional toying, inadequate apology/action. You could say he was young or whatever, this is a black hole of a topic.

You should instead subscribe to all my YouTube channels and consider supporting me here. Instead of worry about this useless thing and worry more about the living. Stop letting yourself get sucked into these things and cut it off.

In retrospect, I find his videos much less impressive due to him playing in Valve servers with a more diverse skill level – against many newbies with obvious skill disparity; little back-and-forth combat. Plus, the axtinguisher got nerfed, making its usage all the more impressive, making old axtinguisher look like a crutch.

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